Having It All

Blessings Unlimited

2012-01-16T15:38:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year to you! I hope that these past two weeks have already started your year off well. If not, it's okay - God's mercies are new every morning. I am glad about that!

I am so excited about the two giant boxes sitting in my living room right now. They are filled with beautiful things from a company called Blessings Unlimited. This company was founded in 2006 by DaySpring c Inc., the world's leading producer of Christian greeting cards and gift. I've just become a consultant for Blessings and can't wait to get started! I was really looking forward to kicking off this home-party business, and I was looking forward to seeing some of the products the company has to offer. I knew they'd be nice, but when I opened the "starter" boxes, it was more than I had expected. Such wonderful things!

This is how it all began: My sister went to a Beth Moore conference a few months ago and entered a drawing at the Blessings Unlimited display. Out of the thousands there, she won! Her prize was a beautifully large lazy susan. After being introduced to the company, she decided to become a consultant. After looking at the catalog and seeing all the beautiful things, I decided to become one too!

The thing that really clenched it for me was when I spotted a section of the Blessings catalog that features Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts, as well as a One Thousand Gifts Journal and the One Thousand Gifts Gratitude Journal. This is meaningful to me because I am almost finished reading this book and it has literally changed my outlook on life. What a bonus that it can be purchased through Blessings Unlimited! I also love Ann Voskamp's website, A Holy Experience also. While perusing the site one day, I recognized some of the Blessings items in her pictures. And actually, the lazy susan my sister won is pictured in on of her posts (as well as below). (See picture here.) That was fun to see!

Just before I spotted the lazy susan on her site, I had already caught a glimpse of her One Thousand Gifts Gratitude Journal on her blog. (This is a gratitude journal for the whole family to use.) It captured my heart to see little hands holding this book with childrens' handwriting marking out what each is thankful for. (See this picture) Because of this, I was thrilled when I opened my Blessings "starter" boxes, and included was this very journal! With sentiments like: "Is there a greater way to love the Giver than to wildly delight in His gifts?" and "All beauty is reflection. Do I have eyes to see His face in all things?", it's impossible not to be drawn to such beauty. So - Ann Voskamp, a true inspiration to me, coupled with pieces to adorn your home with beauty and scripture - how could I resist Blessings Unlimited?

If you'd like to shop this catalog or host a Gathering in your home in Central Texas, or in Del Rio, TX, will you let me know? There are great incentives (including half price and free items) for being a hostess, and on top of that, what a fun way to get together with friends and acquaintances (who could become friends), and have a fun afternoon or evening!

Please e-mail me at BlessingsHere@hotmail.com to schedule a Gathering!

PRAISE

2011-08-07T18:11:00.000-05:00

Heaviness in my heart will never be chased away by anything but praise.

There's not a demon in hell that will follow you into the presence of God. ~ Pastor Barry Camp

The one who is in me is greater than the one who is in the world.

I John 4:4

LOVE

2011-04-25T23:15:00.001-05:00

If I read my Bible to get my day going, but get irritated when my children keep interrupting me, I am a resounding gong and a clanging cymbal.

If I go outside before I even have a chance to get dressed because my children want to blow bubbles, but keep snapping at them in impatience, I am nothing.

If I teach my children that throwing a fit isn't how we react to things, but practically throw one myself, I gain nothing.

LOVE.

The things I do don't matter if they are not done in love.

Love is patient,
Love is kind
It does not envy,
It does not boast,
It is not proud.
It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13

LIFE

2011-04-06T11:05:00.004-05:00

Blogging...my thoughts are too deep to get them all out. But this is what is filling my head these days: Podcasts from Mosaic. A church in Los Angeles led by Erwin Raphael McManus. http://mosaic.org/podcast/

Mosaic: Broken pieces put back together to make something beautiful.

We're all broken in some way, aren't we? Do you know the One who puts all these pieces back together in a beautiful way?

Jesus said, "I have come that they may have LIFE, and have it to the full." John 10:10

Cuteness

2010-08-25T15:29:00.000-05:00

It's a Boy!

2010-07-01T21:18:00.001-05:00

Our little guy turned 1 today!!! It's a been a very long, but short year! :) It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway - He is a such a blessing to us!!! His little ways are so cute. I thank God that He always gives us what is best for us.

Here are a few pics:

Having It All

2010-06-26T18:26:00.003-05:00

I think I can finally relay why I believe I have it all.

First of all, it has nothing to do with me.

Secondly, I feel I must say what having it all is not. It is not the house that I live in. We rent, and this place it is no show house. It is not how much money is in our bank account. My husband is a teacher, we haven't received a secret inheritance, and I am a stay-at-home mom. You can do the math! ;) It is not about all my family members having glowing health. We are facing a chronic health issue right now, right here in my own home. It's not about me being such a talented wife and mother. That you can be sure of!!!

To be honest, there are days when I forget that I truly do have it all. This usually happens when I look at what others have, or really, what I think they have, and begin to wish it for myself.

The true test that proves my conviction that I have it all is this: There is not one person on this earth, not one other family on this earth, that I would want to trade lives with. Sure, there are some parts I'd like to switch out every now and then, but when it comes down to it, this is the life for me. Running the race that was set before me. And knowing I have the Power to do it. Thank you, Lord.

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3

These Days

2010-06-25T19:18:00.002-05:00

Let me remember these days

The crying baby, the crying child

The laughter and squeals of a tickled one
My tears of sadness, of frustration, of joy
The wondering, the pondering,
The things that will remain unknown.

Let me remember these days
The messy house, the messy hands
The character that it builds in me
My flaws that it reveals
And the way that my God heals.

Let me remember these days
And let me be glad in them now.

Twelve Years of Wedded Bliss

2010-06-20T23:06:00.000-05:00

I'm finally getting a chance to sit down and take note that it is my and Joaquin's 12th anniversary!!! I love the way God can take two youngsters (22 and 24) and grow us up together, and in Him. We've had our share of sadness, disappointments, discontentment, and just plain selfishness, but we've also had each other through it all. I can say in all honesty that every year just keeps getting better.

The best marriage advice from this ol' veteran (haha!):

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Happy Anniversary, My Love. I'm proud of the man you are and I am proud to be your wife! I love you!

Stick Horse Rodeo

2010-05-07T21:22:00.010-05:00

Last weekend, the Western Festival and Expo came to town. Included in the festivities was a Stick Horse Rodeo for children. Oh my goodness. What cuteness it was. There were three "events". They were barrel racing, pole bending, and bronc riding. It was so fun to watch! My girls had so much fun and even won some ribbons!

Who is Jesus?

2010-04-04T22:27:00.004-05:00

As Easter 2010 comes to a close, I can’t help but mention Jesus. The One this is all about. And I can’t help but talk about what He means to me.

He is my hope.

That pretty much sums it up. A day of feeling low…He is my hope that things will get better. Wishing life had taken a different turn…He is my hope that everything is going to work out for good. When I’ve messed up…He is my hope of forgiveness.

Who is this Jesus? Is He the Messiah He claimed to be? Was He just a good, moral man? Is He just a figurative idea that people use to represent good? Did He even really exist? Do I really have to trust Him as my Savior to get to heaven when I die? Can what I’ve been searching for really be found in Jesus?

Have you ever been curious about all this? You can find every answer you are seeking. They are all in the Bible. Have you ever read it for yourself? I think you should. Without fail, if you seek God, you will find Him.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:17

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me;

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand;

Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

From In Christ Alone

by Getty and Townend

Happy 9 Months!

2010-04-01T08:00:00.005-05:00

He's been a part of our lives for 18 months now. Nine in, nine out. I can't imagine life without this boy. He's only started to army crawl, and I'm good with that because my days of chasing him around and pulling smalls bits of whatever I haven't vacuumed out of his mouth are approaching quickly! One thing that stands out about him is that he likes to laugh. He'll just be rolling around in his room and come upon a book with pictures he finds interesting...and he laughs at them! Or give him a teething tablet, and I guess he finds the different taste likable, and he laughs! He just started clapping a couple of days ago. So very cute! We say, "Clap!" and he does it!

Thank you, Jesus for my boy!!!

Willing

2010-03-20T22:26:00.003-05:00

by Amy Davis
c 2005

If you are willing to drink from the cup of this world,
Be willing to drink of its pain.
Those who live outside of Christ have much to give,
But their gift is not your gain.

If you are willing to work and strive on your own,
Be willing to live with second best.
For without His power pushing you through,
Your mind will never rest.

If you are willing to be all He created you for,
Be willing to open your heart.
He will fill it up with loving-kindness and truth,
And then your real life can start.

If you are willing to learn and live by His word,
Be willing to never look back.
For when we choose to trust in Him,
Our lives will never lack.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit.

Psalm 51:12(NASB)

More of a Spring in My Step

2010-03-19T22:03:00.007-05:00

I think losing an hour of sleep (every hour counts!) and being awakened by a certain young gentleman in the middle of the night is still keeping me sleep deprived, but...but...BUT... my girls are up between 7 and 7:30 now! Now this does require me to put them to bed later than I'd really like, but it's a good trade off. And extra light in the evenings to boot! So there's my update.

And now for a picture that I must entitle:

It Just Doesn't Get Any Better Than This

Off to bed for me. I have some catching up to do. (This is an early bedtime for me!)

I Am Springing Forward!

2010-03-13T20:15:00.003-06:00

My Baby J, (who incidentally needs a new "blog-name" now that she's three) was a champion sleeper from the time she was about 6 months old. She began sleeping 12 hours then, and honestly didn't have but about five night wakings until...big-girl bed, in January of this year. (Two months after her 3rd birthday.)

Oh man.

She did all right at first, which is due in part to her sharing a room with her big sister. I thought things would progressively get better, but they haven't. So in between her starting to wake up some nights for no other reason than to check and see if I'm awake, and Little Guy waking on random nights at random times, I'm getting way less sleep than I expected at this stage of motherhood.

But that's beside the point. Back to Baby J. She has consistently awakened at 6:15 every morning for weeks upon weeks. I put her back in bed, but just that bit of noise at that "late" of time in the morning, wakes Little M up, and then it's all over. Both girls up before 6:30 a.m. Did I ever mention that I'm not a morning person? (I do have them stay in their room to play until 7 - but still. It would be much better if they were sleeping until then.)

Enter spring.

Nobody likes losing an hour of the day, for me - the night. But this year, I cannot wait. I cannot wait for my children to shift from arising at 6:15 to arising at 7 something!!! Thank you, God! I hope it lasts. I'll keep you posted.

No Phone Zone

2010-03-10T21:06:00.006-06:00

Read a few of the posts from this young widow's blog, and let it help you decide if your car should be a "No Phone Zone". I think it just sealed the deal for me. I have been using my phone in the car less and less anyway, so I think this is just the encouragement I needed to stop. Texting is something I've never done while driving, and I really can't believe anyone would think they could do it safely! She and her baby daughter just lost their husband and daddy at the end of December 2009. So very sad! Go here.

Roadblock

2010-02-21T20:03:00.007-06:00

Have you gotten the book yet? :) Yes, yes I'm running it into the ground.

Though it may seem like I am making too big of a deal about copyright infringement, I do believe it's important. Who knows, one day I may have something I wouldn't want others infringing on, like a CD of me singing opera or something. ;)

Anyway one of my "things" I deal with is idealism. I used to think it was perfectionism, but I now realize it must be idealism. I get something in my head, and if the final product or outcome doesn't match that picture - FAILURE. Of course when I do this I am believing a lie, but like I said, I'm dealin' with it. So for me to blog about going through the whole book and taking notes and all that, and then not to do it, I almost can't stand it. But, even more so, I can't spend time following copyright laws. So project "Out of Control and Loving It!" has been suspended.

But I do have a wonderful alternative!!! I've been pushing this book to anyone who will listen, so my mom was at the top of the list, of course. Known to use a malapropism here and there, she referred to it the other day as "Out of My Mind and Loving It!" We were cracking up! Well, she got on http://www.amazon.com/ to consider buying it. She discovered the feature they have where you can read portions of the book before you buy. Ever done that? You just click on the words "Look Inside!" and you are able to read part of the book! So she did it. She said she just had a mini-Bible study sitting there at her computer reading excerpts from the book. So I want to encourage you to do the same.

Hopefully my blogging won't go to the wayside again. Now I need to think of something else to write about...

Oops

2010-02-08T07:53:00.004-06:00

I realized last night that including material directly from Out of Control... may not be allowed. So I thought I better find out for sure. Yep - right there in the front of the book was the disclaimer you see in every book. Unless I get permission, I won't be able to keep my notes from the book on my blog. Hmmm - what to do? If I am granted permission, this will continue, if not, I guess I'll just have to start posting pictures of my children. :) So until then, once again I say, GET THE BOOK.

Be free!!!

UPDATE:

Hi Amy! Your blog is great! Copyright laws allow quoting up to 250 words--as long as credit is given to the book (title, author, publisher, copyright date, and page numbers). If you're wanting to use an excerpt of more than 250 words, you would need to get permission from the publisher (for this book, it's Thomas Nelson). We don't publish our own books, so we unfortunately can't give permission to quote them. Hope this helps. Thank you for asking; we appreciate your integrity! Keep blogging! Sheila Seier, MI Correspondence

Here We Go

2010-02-07T20:45:00.006-06:00

Every now and then, I hold my breath, and as fast I can possibly get it out I say, "God-do-whatever-it-takes-to-make-me-who-you-want-me-to-be." And then next thing you know, the hard times come. As in all things God, it's a paradox. The bad in our life brings the good. And in my case, it's usually just my perception that things are bad. But thankfully, God prepares us even when we don't know He's doing it. That's why He led me to this book. I read it and two days later, I crashed. It was a hormonal mess that I won't bore you with, but strangely through it, I felt God's peace. So onto my notes...

Chapter One

Awake, Daughter of Zion

Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself with strength. Put on your garments of splendor, O Jerusalem, the holy city. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again. Shake off your dust; rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. Free yourself from the chains on your neck, O captive Daughter of Zion" (Isaiah 52:1-2)

It is a contradiction for a daughter of Zion to be captive.

Tired of constant disappointment I resigned myself to my condition. I decided it was better not to hope than to hope and only be disappointed again. So I concealed my chains and quietly moved within the confines of my restrictions.

I was tired of acting free when I was not, tired of acting strong when I was in fact weak. (I can SO attest to the last half of that sentence. - AD)

Heirs - yet captive. Free - yet bound.

From Out of Control and Loving It! by Lisa Bevere

As you read my notes on this book, and as you hopefully read the book, I would love for you to share anything God is teaching you with these truths.

Why I Bought the Book

2010-02-02T13:43:00.011-06:00

Ever since I became a mom, the control I have felt over my life has little by little slipped away. The type of control I'm talking about is the ability to decide what I want to do and when I want to do it. Like - "I want to stay asleep all night." Nope, sorry. You have to feed the baby. Or, "I want to watch my show." Nope, sorry. The baby isn't asleep yet. Or, "Hey Babe, let's go eat somewhere." Nope, sorry. It's the baby's naptime. Any parent can relate to this.

I am a very scheduled, time-oriented person. I like to make lists and check them off. This can be good. But it can also drive me crazy, as well as those around me, I'm sure. I guess I should say, I was this way. God has used parenthood to totally obliterate this aspect of my personality. Oops, I mean He has caused it to be more balanced in my life. :)

So just a few weeks ago, in my thoughts I was surveying my daily life and the condition of my house. I felt so out of control. I thought, "I am so out of control. It's like everyone else, and every circumstance dictates how I spend my time." I had thoughts like, "Why can't I keep my house neater? Why don't I get out of my pajamas in the morning instead of the afternoon? Will I ever get to be involved in anything outside of my home again?" These combined with some serious post-partum hormonal issues were really weighing on me. While still reading my Bible for answers, I decided I needed a book. So one night while the girls were at AWANA and Honeybees, I went to our church library. I loaded up on books. I put some back. I chose some more. Then I came across a book called, Out of Control and Loving It! by Lisa Bevere. It's about giving God complete control of your life. While I have always set out to live my life like that, I guess I've just never really known how. So I checked it out and devoured it. And then I ordered my own copy so I could write in it. And now I must share. I hope to do this on a regular basis. I also hope you will get your own copy because I will only be highlighting things that stood out to me. If you don't read the text in full, you'll miss so much! Keep checking back. I'll get started soon.

So to close I'll share a picture of Little Guy. I stopped blogging when he was just weeks old, and my how he's grown! He just hit the 7 month mark a couple of days ago. He is a joy to our family!!! Sweet, sweet, sweet!

Out of Control

2010-01-26T13:39:00.004-06:00

I may be emerging for good... :) I have just read a book called Out of Control And Loving It! by Lisa Bevere. I want to go through it again and highlight the parts that have changed my life already. And I can't help but share! I just can't help it! :) Have you read this book? If not, I want to encourage you to go get it. Today. Once I get started, this will be the topic of my posts until I get through the book. Join me!

Nativity Giveaway

2009-12-16T22:32:00.004-06:00

I've come out of my blogging hibernation to post a Christmas giveaway! My friend, Autumn, at Autumn Asks Why, is giving it away. Check out her blog for all the details. This contest ends tomorrow, so you better get on it!

Baby Brother

2009-08-10T18:02:00.006-05:00

It's hard to believe that in two days my baby boy will be 6 weeks old. What a blessing he is. I guess everyone says that about their babies! But with each new life God has given us to care for, it seems like my heart softens more and more for these little ones. It feels like we've always had this little guy. Our family feels complete now.

I don't think I'll be blogging anytime soon, though Blogger calls my name on a regular basis. I always have ideas in my head, and my thoughts quite often say, "I should blog about that!" But it's just so hard to fit in.

I'll leave you with some pictures:

It's Coming!

2009-07-15T22:23:00.000-05:00

I will get a post about Baby Brother on here soon. I have so many pictures, so many thoughts...where do I begin? God has been good to us. Things are going well.

You know how everyone thinks their baby is a good-looking genius? Well, ours really is! See for yourself:

Happy 5th, Baby Girl!

2009-07-14T21:55:00.004-05:00

Amidst all this newborn raisin', we have been celebrating Little M's birthday for a few weeks. I knew I'd be too exhausted to have a party after the baby arrived, but I didn't want her to get overlooked during all this change in our lives. Birthdays are very important to her after all! So we celebrated early, by having a special day for her where she could choose what she wanted to do.

She wanted to have breakfast at Cracker Barrel, go to Build-A-Bear Workshop (our suggestion), play at a park, and watch a movie. Bambi it was! It was a fun day.

And then the celebrations continued. She had a little party with my in-laws while I was in the hospital having the baby. And since my mom is always here in the summer and celebrates her birthday with us, Little M wanted to know if she could stay and celebrate her birthday with us and help make the cake like she does every year. Well, Grandmother had to leave before her birthday arrived, so we decided to have a little cupcake party. The guests were Joaquin, me, Tia (my sis-in-law), Grandmother, and Baby Brother.

Then to top it all off, my mom and I made a cake to have today for her actual birthday. Whew! I know she loved it all, and I think we accomplished our goal of keeping her birthday special. Next year, I'm pretty sure we'll just be having a small party! Here are a few pics:

Happy Birthday to my first born. You amaze me each day with the way you obey your parents, love your sister and brother, and always want to learn. May God bless you, sweet one. I love you!

Blessings

2009-06-28T21:40:00.006-05:00

Our newest little one will arrive on July 1st. I will be induced after arriving at the hospital this Wednesday at 5:30 a.m. Please keep me in your prayers!

During this time of moving and preparing for the baby, people have been so good to us. Lately, I feel like there has been an overabundance of kindness extended to us. It is humbling. I most definitely recognize that people, including myself, cannot make it through life successfully without the help of others. But I find it hard to ask for help, and when people just plain ol’ offer their help, I have a twinge of, “why would you want to do that for me?”

I’ve had a lot of that lately. And I’m so grateful.

I appreciate you, Melissa. I appreciate you, Amber. I appreciate you, Mom. I appreciate you, Kylie. I appreciate you, Autumn. I appreciate you, Charla. Each of you has taken time out of your lives to reach into mine. Ya didn’t have to do it. But you did, and I thank you.

I’m coming to learn that being too busy, having small children to care for, or whatever else consumes my time is no excuse for not helping others. I firmly believe in knowing how much you can handle on your plate, and sticking to it. But I also know that God’s way is to bear one another’s burdens. After I recover from child-bearing, this will be more of my focus. Yet another great way to get my mind on something other than myself. Not that I'm selfish or anything... :)

Dad: In Three Parts

2009-06-21T17:05:00.011-05:00

Happy Father's Day to Joaquin! What a blessing it's been to see how fatherhood has brought out so many of his good qualities. My children, no doubt, couldn't ask for better. I love how he interacts with them, loves them, disciplines them. Their future husbands have a lot to live up to.

I asked the girls what they wanted to say to their daddy on Father's Day. Here it is:

From Little M - I love you, Daddy. I love you more than ever. Amen. You're a good cowboy. And then it turned into a prayer: Thank you that I could have a daddy, and thank you that God is always with me, in Jesus Name, Amen.

From Baby J - Dear Daddy, I really love you. Thank you from me very much.

From Baby #3 - How about picking out a name for me? ;)

The second dad I want to mention is my own. He died when I was 11 and my sister, 13. It's been so many years ago that I do not grieve about it, except on very rare occasions. What a man he was. For being in my life for such a short time, he made such an impression. I can still remember so much that he taught me, the daily things that have stuck with me, like - chew your food 37 times, the basics of a contractual agreement (I'm serious!), the importance of a good laugh (he cracked us up!), the absolute need we have for God.

And the third, of course, is God. He is a Father to the fatherless, and I have known Him as this many, many times. Though I've questioned Him, I have come to learn that He only wants what is best for me. I have come to learn that judging God based on people and the outcome of our own decisions, is a bad idea. I have come to learn that He is for me - not against me. I have come to learn that no matter what happens, He never changes and He is good. I pray that any of you who do not have a dad on earth, or a dad who acts like he should, or whatever the case may be, if you're young or old, that you will know Him for the Abba - daddy - that He is.

Eleven Years and Counting

2009-06-20T23:41:00.005-05:00

In a time of change, it's good to know there is something constant - my wonderfully sweet, kind, unselfish, helpful, I-could-go-on-and-on-about-this-great-man, husband. God blessed me with Joaquin Davis as my husband eleven years ago today. When we were traveling home together from College Station one weekend in 1997, we stopped for dinner in San Antonio. He took me to the Tower of Americas. As we looked out over downtown after our meal, he proposed. I still feel the excitement just thinking of it. We got married a year later.

I have trouble summing up my marriage to this man. Not because it's complicated, but because it's, well, it's just good. I am blessed.

Happy 11 Years, Babe. I know we have a lifetime more to go...and I'm so glad.

Changes, Changes

2009-06-09T14:15:00.003-05:00

Wow - I mentioned in my last post how we'd been having some changes around here. Well, one huge one is that we moved to a different house! If you'll look to the right of your screen you'll be reminded of how close Baby #3's arrival is. Are we insane? It is possible! :)

This move was a good change, though still very stressful in that we have a lot of settling in to do. The girls seem to be handling it quite well. We moved, had to travel unexpectedly for my Nanny's funeral, and are trying to get things ready before the baby arrives. What stress? :) Little M seems a little more sensitive about things lately, but hopefully it's just because she is tired. Also, she is sensitive to my reactions to the stress. Baby J hasn't missed a beat. I'm sure it's because she's younger. Ignorance is bliss!

This past weekend, everything came together at once and I was so exhausted and everything seemed so terrible. Do you ever get that way? It's hard to keep a good perspective in exhaustion. Instead of doing anything around here, I sat around a lot. I napped a couple of times. I actually called my family and cried. (I hate crying to people on the phone!) After a good night's rest, I was a new girl. At this point in pregnancy, I have no reprieve from the waddling and getting out of breath so easily. But things are looking up. I am consciously choosing not to complain. It really does make a person feel better. It helps me stay focused on something other than myself.

Leaving a Legacy

2009-06-07T20:38:00.005-05:00

This week has been filled with changes, the greatest being losing my grandmother on Monday. She was 90 years old, and was not well, so her death has brought the relief that she is no longer suffering in any way. I wrote a post about her, here, on her 90th birthday which says a lot about how I feel about her. She was one of the most important people in my life, and I will miss her so very much. I could say so many things about her - about her love for the Word of God, about how she was a friend to many, about how her family valued her. But I just can't tonight. I'm not really sure there is any way to put into words the legacy she left behind.

Will Evelyn Leddy, age 90, of San Angelo, Texas, went to be with the Lord on Monday, June 1, 2009 at her residence in San Angelo. Services will be Thursday, June 4, at 2 p.m. at First Baptist Church Chapel in San Angelo with the Rev. Dick Schultz and Stephen Leddy officiating. Interment will follow in Fairmount Cemetery directed by Henderson Funeral Home of Coleman. The family will receive friends Wednesday, June 3, from 5 p.m. till 7 p.m. at Johnson Funeral Home in San Angelo. She was born Aug. 8, 1918, in Ennis, Texas, to the late Walter Lockhart and Nellie Lee Robinson Matthews. Will Evelyn was raised in Ennis where she graduated from Ennis High School in 1936 and later attended Angelo State University. On Jan. 28, 1940, she married Joseph Dale Leddy in San Angelo and they celebrated 55 years of marriage. Dale preceded her in death in 1995. She has been a resident of San Angelo since 1940 as a homemaker and member of the First Baptist Church where she was a member of WMU and a Sunday school teacher. Survivors include two daughters, Debbie Montgomery of Del Rio, Texas, and Martha and husband Dick Schultz of Brownwood, Texas; two sons, Stephen and wife Charlotte Leddy of Fort Worth, Texas, and Mark and wife Vickie Leddy of San Angelo, Texas; brother-in-law Hollis and wife Nancy Leddy of San Angelo, Texas; numerous cousins, nieces and nephews; 10 grandchildren and 27 great-grandchildren. Will Evelyn was preceded in death by father and mother-in-law, M. L. and Mabel Leddy; son-in-law Neal Montgomery; two sisters and one brother.

This Is Life

2009-05-27T22:48:00.002-05:00

Watching my girls out my back window, which I was doing earlier this evening, brings a joy to my soul that is unmatched. Little M will be five in just a few short weeks, and in her few years her life has done nothing but enliven and and enrich ours. Baby J is two-and-a-half and infuses joy into our day. God has used these two little people to teach us so much.

I've had dark days, but when the light comes, it is a flood. It is overwhelming. It is what causes me to wonder how some can survive even a day without knowing God. I think it must only be because they just don't know about Him and His Son who saved us from the darkness, or that they have measured who He is by what others have said or done with Him, rather than experiencing Him for themselves. I am thankful that He is always there, that His presence is unable to leave us for even a brief moment. My girls are part of what reminds me of this.

Watching my children through the window gives me a moment to enjoy them in the silence. To be able to stop for a few short minutes, without being distracted by everyday life. And it helps me appreciate them more.

I Love Wikki!

2009-05-23T22:02:00.015-05:00

You know how children sometimes just start wandering about the house, seeming to need direction from you? I know this is good to a degree because it gives them a chance to just "do nothing" and to possibly find their own way to engage themselves. But it almost drives me crazy. I want their minds to constantly be engaged in something meaningful. (Yes, some television-watching is TOTALLY included in this.) But the problem is that while I spend a lot of time at home, I am not that creative! I especially feel this way about Baby J, who is now 2 1/2, and still needs quite a bit of direction (and probably a new blog name too!).

Just recently, I've started giving the girls the staple "crafts" of gluing noodles or beans, scooping noodles or beans, and counting noodles or beans. They do love it. But it only keeps them "entertained" for about 8.8 minutes. They do have a time during the day where I have them sit and "read" and another time where they play in their rooms (in an attempt to allow me some time alone), but there are many times in the day where they just want to be stuck to my leg like magnets to a fridge.

So when I found a website called Preschoolers and Peace, I was excited! What I was most excited about is a little product I learned about on the site called Wikki Stix. They are so cool. They are like yarn covered in heavy wax, which sounds really strange, I know. They are bendable, stickable, and reusable. And they keep my children occupied! And I even enjoy making some of my own creations! They are also good for forming letters and shapes. You can order them online, or you can get them from Mardel - which is where I got mine.

While I'm at it, have any ideas for occupying a 2 year old?

Stylin' in their Wikki glasses

Not Inspired a Bit

2009-05-13T22:09:00.004-05:00

There is nothing too interesting to report, and this is a short, possibly uninteresting post, but I thought I should just post something because of the way the content of my last two posts went together. Not very well! I realized that I posted about having a surprise baby boy, and then my next post was called Broken Dreams. Doesn't that sound terrible? Those two posts were not meant to correlate, and they don't! :) I just had to make sure everybody knew that.

With only 8 weeks to go, Big Mama (that's me) starts waddling about 3 p.m. everyday, and I move slower as the day progresses. But I must say, this has been a really great pregnancy. I think it has a lot to do with me generally having a better attitude in life and a better perspective on things. I can thank God for that!

Hope to blog again soon!!!

Broken Dreams

2009-04-04T21:45:00.000-05:00

Someone gave my mom a plaque type thing with this poem on it when I was probably about 10 years old. I remember reading it over and over again trying to understand it, trying to soak it in. It has really stuck with me all these years. I think it says a lot about how we approach God with our problems. I know I've been this person many times!

Broken Dreams
by Robert J. Burdette

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.
But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could you be so slow?"
"My child," He said, "what could I do?"
" You never did let go."

I Guess I Should Blog About This!

2009-04-02T16:33:00.006-05:00

I realized a couple of nights ago that I only wrote one post in March. I was surprised! And all I did in that post was consider the "whys" of blogging. All my quandary and wondering is probably why I have waited so long to blog about the fact that we are having a baby boy on or around July 8, 2009!!!

It's been a funny kind of 25 weeks since we found out - with a lot of mixed emotions. The reason for this is that the little one is arriving at the most perfect moment for our family, and for this world. Yes, I know that doesn't make sense. What's so funny and emotional about it? Well, what I'm trying to say is that this was quite a surprise for the Davis family. Okay - a shock. The very first verse that came to my mind after we saw that little plus sign was, "...you are not your own..." I Corinthians 6:19 (I had to look up the reference later.) God's been doing some serious messing around with my life in the past two years. He's been getting me out of my own way. And this is just another part of that. I gave myself fully to Him about a year-and-a-half ago, and it's been hard - really hard - but He's already allowed me to see some beauty from those ashes. And what could be more beautiful than new life?

There are some days that I feel like I can't even do a good job with the two little ones He has already given us, and it makes me wonder why He thinks I can handle another. Here's a little secret - I can't. But I know He knows that. And that's the beauty of it all. He knows I will need to lean on Him through it all, and that's exactly what I intend to do. I get a little giddy thinking about the ways we will see God's hand in our lives as we start a new phase.

Welcome to our lives, sweet Baby Davis. What plans does our Creator have for you? We'll learn as we go, but this I do know: You were perfectly planned. You are being perfectly knit together in my womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Bring it on, God! :)

A Blogging Perplexity

2009-03-08T23:20:00.004-05:00

This is the first time I've ever just sat down to write a blog post without pre-thinking, pre-typing, pre-editing it. I overthink this blogging thing too much. Each thing I post is more like a mini-article than just a simple blog post. And that's why I'm not consistent with it at all. Because I haven't established my purpose for it. The reason for that is because I'm still trying to figure out the point of blogging. And this is a strange thing because I really enjoy reading people's blogs. I think it's a great way to keep up with friends' lives. A great way to learn what others are learning, spiritually speaking. A great way to get a good laugh with another mom who is in the same boat as I am.

But blogs are personal too. And it's hard for me to "get personal" with a random person from Instanbul. It feels weird to me that someone I've never met is looking at pictures of my children, and learning about the things that are bouncing around in my head. It doesn't creep me out, I just don't have a place in my brain to file this kind of connection. And even though I read many blogs that people I've never met have written, I still wonder why would anyone want to read about me?

If you blog, why do you do it? What made you start, and how do you decide what to write about?

If you read blogs (which obviously you do! :) ) why do you do it? Do you mostly read the blogs of people you know, or do you read a lot of strangers' blogs?

Invisible

2009-02-16T21:56:00.003-06:00

I thankfully haven't felt invisible lately, but I ran across this the other day and I wanted to share it with you. The first time I read it, I cried because it spoke to me so much as a mother of two little ones. It will no doubt remind you of the importance of doing what God sees as important...even if He's the only one who sees.

(The spacing is unfortunately MESSED UP on this, so it's a little hard to read. I'm sure those who know me well realize how much this irritates me!!!)

Invisible Woman

By Nicole Johnson

It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?"

"Nobody," he shrugged.

"Nobody?" The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, "Oh my goodness, nobody?"

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking.

That's when I started to put all the pieces together. I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can see me. I'm invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not! No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answ er, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going...... she's going........ she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped pack age, and said, "I brought you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

What's For Lunch?

2009-02-14T22:20:00.000-06:00

What do you feed your children for lunch? I really value fruits and vegetables, but sometimes it’s so hard for me to keep them as a priority. And even though my girls don’t seem to notice, I get tired of making the same thing over and over.

Here are some of the things I serve:

Bean Burritos - put a couple of pieces of cheese on a tortilla then smear some canned refried beans on it. Fold it in half, put a little butter on the outside and broil for 3 minutes or less.
Fish sticks
Whole wheat noodles with butter and salt or parmesan cheese
Plain ol’ meat and cheese sandwiches

Add a banana, raisins, apples, prunes or sometimes the green beans I buy at HEB that only take 4 minutes to cook, and there’s lunch.

Please tell me what’s for lunch at your house. And if you’d be so kind, tell me what’s for dinner too! Even if you think it is so simple that “everyone else” has already thought of it, please share anyway. I am meal-idea challenged to say the least.

My Favorite Babysitter

2009-02-13T09:57:00.000-06:00

I’m a little weird when it comes to my children watching television. Okay, I’m a little weird about many things, but I’m only blogging about one topic at a time! :) My husband and I are very careful about the things they watch, which means they never watch“our” shows, they very rarely see a commercial, and they never watch anything even remotely scary. I only let Baby J watch one hour a day, and not at one sitting. I prefer that Little M watch only 1.5 hours, and not in one sitting, but some days it ends up being two hours. If they watch more than 30 minutes at a time, I can personally feel their brains melting.

You know how the “professionals” say to watch the learning programs with your children so you can teach them as they watch? HA HA HA. Can you hear me cracking up? Television was created to be our children’s babysitters, wasn’t it? When my children hit six months old, Baby Mozart became my best friend. And I didn’t sit there with them saying, “Look! An orange ball! Look! A golden ring!” I headed to the computer, or to the dishes, or to whatever else seemed pressing at the moment.

We don’t have cable, so the only shows that are on TV for them are those like Curious George, Barney, Sid the Science Kid, Sesame Street – all on PBS. And we have a small collection of videos to choose from. (Yes, videos. We are slow catching up to new technology!)

But zooming out and looking at the big picture, I see that my children’s brains stay intact even when they do watch more TV than I prefer. They are still intelligent. They still know how to play creatively. Every now and then Little M will say something like, “You know, I think that the days in the winter are shorter than the days in the spring.” Or, “Do you know why I can hear my daddy’s voice through the window? Because the sound waves go through the window.” I didn’t teach her this stuff. She learned it from television!

Thank you George. Thank you, Sid. I think we’ll keep you around.

Happy Birthday, Hot Stuff

2009-02-11T21:50:00.001-06:00

Today is my loving husband’s 35th birthday. I can’t believe we’ve been celebrating together as a married couple since he was 25. His life has blessed mine in so many ways that I wouldn’t know where to begin telling you about it all. I am thankful to God for his birth. I am thankful to God for his life. He puts up with me in so many ways, and I love him even more because of it.

Happy Birthday, Joaquin! I love you more every day.

Down But Not Out

2009-01-10T20:40:00.001-06:00

Oh my poor, neglected blog. You wouldn’t believe how many posts I’ve written. They’re all still in my head though. I wish there was some contraption that would capture my thoughts and transcribe them into the computer. Then I would no doubt be a power blogger.

We had a wonderful time visiting our families over the holidays. The thing is that I left my house a total wreck before we left. I spent my time packing and getting ready to leave, so I didn’t spend any time straightening up. So we returned from being gone 8 days to a horrible mess. Not the best way to end the holidays.

Some people I know, when you enter their house, say, “Oh excuse the mess,” and I’m standing there wondering what the heck they’re talking about. When I say my house is messy, it really is. There are piles of clutter in many places, and things are just generally out of order. With Little M’s help, we can keep her room, Baby J’s room, and the living room straightened, but let’s not talk about how often I vacuum, k? I may just get the courage to post a pic of my junk cabinet. Horrendous. It’s really amazing how clutter can get a person down.

And I’ve been down.

And I’ve been up.

And I’m thankful for that. Because if not for that part, I would be truly worried about my current state.

So now we’re back in the swing of things, and since I’ve been too overwhelmed with my house to really deal with it, I’ve spent some really great time with my children. But I wish I knew how to get the kick in the pants that I really need. I don’t like to think of myself as lazy. I really don’t think I am. Undisciplined in many ways? Definitely. I don’t like to do the dishes. Boring. Fold laundry? I’ll get to it.

I can’t say how grateful I am for an understanding husband. Oh I can’t even express it. Without him, we wouldn’t have even eaten this week. (He did the grocery shopping.) The clutter starts to get to him when he can’t find his stuff, but he generally understands. And he not being a neat-nick himself works greatly in my favor.

I’m at the point where I just know that my house will never be in order. But really, that’s just desperation talking. I’ll get there. Even if it takes me 3 weeks to get unpacked from our trip, I’ll get there. And until then, a reminder from my friend Rachel, “My house is a mess, but my home isn’t.”

Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T13:13:00.010-06:00

I love Christmas! I hope you are all enjoying your holidays. While this is a beautiful time for most, I am fully aware that it can be a bittersweet time for many. I pray that the joy that Jesus brought to this world so many years ago will be greater than any sadness that you may have felt in years past.

Jesus left the comfort of Heaven to start life as a baby in this imperfect world. What love for us! He didn't have to do it, ya know. This holiday season, may you know the joy, hope, and peace He has given us through His life, death, and resurrection. It's not just a bunch of Christmas-y words you've heard through the years in cards, at church, and TV shows. It's real. And He's given these things to each and every one of us.

Happy Christmas to you and yours!!!

Enjoy

2008-12-09T22:22:00.008-06:00

I have had the privilege of leading a class at my church on Wednesday nights. Let me clarify that this means getting our meeting place ready each week, guiding discussion on what we are learning in our home study during the previous week, and pushing play on the DVD player. :) So I am really more of a facilitator than “leader”. I’ve learned a lot the past few weeks, but there are a couple of things that have stood out to me. I’ll start with one of them in this post.

Our study is called Enjoy: A Thirst-Quenching Look at Philippians by Tianne Moon. We're learning about the things, and ways of thinking that can destroy our joy. It is very important to realize that happiness is not the same thing as joy. Happiness is a temporary feeling. Joy is something deep down that sticks with you even when you’re having a bad day, or if even worse, if everything around you seems to be falling apart. With that said, money probably really can buy happiness, but you can only get joy through your belief in Jesus, and living out the things God has laid out in His word for us. True joy lasts.

One of the Bible verses we read last week is the same one (different version) as the one I have on my banner: “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me." Philippians 3:12

What Tianne Moon helped me realize is that in this verse, Paul, in part of his letter to the Philippians was not talking to them as a person who had it all together when it came to his faith. He wrote to them as a fellow traveler on this journey of life. He was a righteous man. He could have approached things differently, but he realized that he was no greater in God’s sight than any other.

This caused me to think about how our judgments of others affect both them and us negatively. As believers in Christ, when we begin to judge others for something, we take on an air of “I’m better than you are”. Even if what we are judging them for is not a struggle in our life, we will always have other things we deal with that could easily be judged by others.

So here’s an encouraging word for all of us. Let’s stop judging and start loving. What if, instead of judging others, we truly realized that we are all on this journey together? We are fellow travelers. None of us will be completely mature in Christ until we reach heaven. I can promise you that if you practice this, your load will be lighter (since your mind won't be cluttered so much with what others are doing wrong), and you will notice a little more joy shining through in you!

What? An award? Cool.

2008-12-02T22:24:00.003-06:00

I just (well, it's been quite a few days!) received my first blog award! Cool! Thank you, Autumn! You are sweet!

Here are the instructions:

"When you receive the prize, you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in their content or design. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing that they were prized with 'Honest Weblog'. List [if you can and/or dare] at least ten honest things about yourself. Then, pass it on!"

Let's see...

1. I am a schedule person. I know how to make and keep a schedule, but with my stuff, I am so unorganized. I wasn’t like this before I had children. Well actually, I think I always was, but it didn’t affect things so much because with all the time I had, I used to keep my house in shape. So now without any extra time, and knowing my work will be undone in mere minutes, my house has become a big ol’ mess.

2. No matter how many hard times my sister and I have had with each other in the past, I have always deeply loved her. I thank God that part is behind us.

3. I played tennis from 7th grade until my senior year in high school. Well, I stopped mid-senior year because I was burned out. But anyway, during this time, I broke two tennis rackets by hitting them on the ground when I was mad about how poorly I was playing during a tournament. Talk about great sportsmanship.

4. I am an almost-recovered angry girl. (I think.)

5. I grew up on the border of Mexico, and know some Spanish, but I’d really like to be truly bilingual. I’d like the same for my children.

6. People using their God-given talents impresses me. There's not a lot else that does.

7. In college, I got a D in my business math class. I just couldn’t get what it was all about. To hopefully improve my failing grade, I did all the right stuff: I sat on the first row in class and looked interested. I went to the professor’s office to ask questions about the assignments. The only problem was that my understanding of the material was so little that I couldn’t even formulate a real question for him to answer. So I just made questions up. I’m pretty sure he saw through it all and graciously gave me the D. If I had ended up failing, I would have been on scholastic probation my first semester!!!

8. I have high expectations that my children will never stop seeking the one true God. Not because of anything I do, but because I know that’s what God wants too. I know He answers prayer, and that is at the top of my list.

9. I really wish I had the energy and time to post on my blog every single day. Even every-other-day would be great. Heck, at the rate I'm going, once a week would be nice!

10. I have judged people for being judgmental.

The 7 great blogs I will pass this on to are:

1. Angela - Adventures of a Supermom – Although she has just received this very same award, I can’t go without mentioning her. I love to read her posts, and her blog is part of what got me revved up to start my own blog. She’s been a busy gal with her new business, Creative Blank (check out http://www.creativeblank.blogspot.com). Hopefully she’ll be posting again soon!

2. Rachel – Confessions and Ramblings of a Mom – Rachel is a dear friend. I enjoy her blog so much because she talks about life as it comes, is 100% real, and this is the best way for me to keep up with what’s going on her life.

3. Kylie – Bus Driver – What a great blog this is! Kylie is such a wonderful person and it shows through in her posts. She shares on a variety of topics, and is kind in presenting her opinions. She posts regularly which I love.

4. Jessica – Making Home – I’m not sure how I found her, but she offers very challenging, thought-provoking posts about being Christ-minded in daily life.

5. Allison – All Things A – One of my dearest friends from college. Her blog is light-hearted and exhibits a lot of her photography and invitation work. Check out http://www.jallisonandrews.com/.

6. Nicki – Nicksterland – I’ve only met her a handful of times, and oh what a sweetheart! She posts regularly, which I love, and her posts warm my heart.

7. Autumn – Autumn Asks Why – is one of my favorite blogs. I don’t know if I’m allowed to do this or not, but I have to give her this award! So I guess she gets two of ‘em. Autumn posts very regularly, and is very real about who she is. I feel like I’ve gotten to know Autumn better by reading her blogs. She’s great! (But no, Autumn, you don't have to post 10 more honest things! :) )

The Favorites Tag

2008-12-02T21:18:00.005-06:00

I was tagged by Kylie quite some time ago. Thinking of 8 things in each category was so hard for me! Please forgive any cheesiness!

8 TV shows I love to watch:
1. 20/20
2. The Office (when I catch it and they aren’t continually being crude)
3. Uh…
4. Nightline
5. Super Nanny (I might have watched that about two months ago.)
6. Uh…Can you tell I don’t have cable – or much time?
7. I sometimes catch Rachel Ray’s show.
8. American Idol when it’s on. (Love it!)

8 favorite restaurants:
1. Pappa Rollo’s (well, the once or twice I’ve eaten there!)
2. Chick Fil A
3. Johnny Carino’s
4. Lando’s (in Acuna, Mexico)
5. Freebirds
6. Ninfa’s
7. Whataburger (their hamburgers really are good!)
8. Rosa’s Cafe

8 things that happened today: (I did this part on Sunday.)
1. “Slept in” (8:30 a.m.) thanks to my wonderful husband who got up with Little M.
2. Skipped church because we were exhausted from traveling for Thanksgiving.
3. Fed children oat bran muffins for breakfast because, well, because the cupboard was bare.
4. Played hide and seek with the girls. I was the one who hid.
5. Tried to get some stuff cleaned up around here. Operative word: Tried.
6. Made a quick trip to the grocery store for a few necessary items. (yay! We get breakfast tomorrow!)
7. Read blogs and worked on posts.
8. Bathed and put my little ones to bed.

8 things I am looking forward to:
1. Driving around and looking at Christmas lights with my family as much as possible!
2. Christmas!
3. Our next Bible study that begins in January.
4. Having someone I dearly love possibly moving to my neck of the woods.
5. My whole house being really clean one day (had to ditto Kylie’s).
6. Being with my family again for Christmas – my side and Joaquin’s.
7. Having a maid. (I guess I should put this on my wishlist.)
8. Heaven.

8 things on my wishlist:
1. Having it take less than an hour for Little M to be settled in for sleep every night.
2. More motivation for everything.
3. A house that isn’t messy pretty much all the time.
4. Being able to work on my blog more often!
5. Energy.
6. To be organized.
7. Clothes that appear in my closet on their own – I’m not good at shopping!
8. World peace. (I just can’t think of any more! :) )

4 people I tag: (yes, I am cheating on this one by cutting it in half)
Rachel
Autumn
Dona
Allison

I'm back! Maybe.

2008-12-02T21:05:00.003-06:00

I have been so negligent of my blog. I've just been plain exhausted. And my computer is weird, so posting frustrates me anyway. But I was tagged and also given an award! So I will post those within the next hour or so, depending on how much this computer cooperates.

Thanksgiving was wonderful with my family. We spent it with most of my mom's side, and almost everyone - minus a few cousins - were there. Maybe they'll join us next year. It's hard keeping up with the little ones at someone else's house, but that's all a part of the joy of the holidays, right?

I'll get posting!

My Baby is Two

2008-11-20T22:31:00.008-06:00

Happy Birthday!!! My Baby J turns two tomorrow! I had to post tonight because I already know I won't have time tomorrow.

Oh what a two years it's been. Through the ups and downs of learning to be a mother of two, to my hormonal craziness, and everything in between, it has been worth every single minute. My sweet girl's middle name is Joy and truly, she is "Joy in Training Pants"! As the second child, she knows how to get my attention: Screaming. But just as fast as she'll say, "No apple, Mamma, no way," she'll also say, on her very own, "I sorry," when she accidentally knocks my glasses off or if I hit my elbow and say, "Ow." She loves to laugh, sings along to music in the car, and loves her "shisher."

Here are some pictures to celebrate her life:

Welcome to the world!

She loves to set up living room picnics!

Ahhh - outside!

Dear Jesus, may she know your unending, incomprehensible love, your protection, and your grace, even as a small child.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Baby. I pray God will bless Daddy and me with your life for 100 more!

It's the Little Things

2008-11-10T22:04:00.002-06:00

I’ve been teetering on mental instability since Baby J was born. Alright – I’m exaggerating a bit, but there have been some weeks for the past two years where this has been very true. One of these times was when I wanted to get one-year-old pictures taken of Baby J. One-year-old, as in 12 months. The problem was that she was already 14 months old. But I was going to do it anyway.

For some reason, even though I’d already been the mother of two children for over a year, I was still adjusting. It was still so very hard for me to get all of us together, get in the car, and head for Sears. But I did it. When we got there, I wrangled the baby, wrangled the three year old, and then we got the greatly desired pseudo 12 month pictures taken. And when I sat down with the photo lady, I presented her with my coupon for JCPenney Photo Studio. Yes, that’s right. I thought it was a Sears coupon. (Are you getting a better picture of my mental state?) At that point, and even now, my husband and I were and are in the throes of getting out of debt (translate: MAJOR budget), so I had to use the coupon or get no pictures. So for that day, I didn’t get to order the pictures. I was pretty sad.

So fast forward to last week. I went in to see if they still had the pictures in their computer. (Yes, it’s taken me almost a year to go take care of this. I’ll pull the mental card again.) Thank you, Lord, there was my baby on that screen. The cost would be $50. Not bad, right? Except for one thing. She told me it would cost $50 for one sheet of pictures. That’s one 8x10 or two 5x7s – you get the picture. Ridiculous. I wasn’t prepared to pay that day. I had to come home and contemplate a little more. Was paying that much for so few pictures worth it? I pray about everything, and so I added this to the list.

A few days later, I decided I would indeed buy the pictures. I used my drive time to the mall to call my mom. I told her the whole story. She too prayed about it, asking God that I would not be charged as much as the lady had originally said. When I arrived, I chose the picture I wanted, and then she gave me my total – $21.94. I paid up and then went straight to buy Little M her Christmas dress with the money I had saved.

Do these pictures really matter in the big picture, in the big scheme of things? Probably not! But God cares about the big things, little things, and everything in between! And I really can't say how much the little things mean to me, how much the little things remind me of how much God loves us. And I am so thankful.

Baby's Better

2008-11-03T22:07:00.004-06:00

(I wrote this about 1:20 today, but have just now been able to post.)

After 8 episodes of throwing up, 8 sheet changes, 8 pajama changes, 3 baths, 2 loads of laundry, 1 cracker, as much liquid as she could keep down, and tons of sleep, my Baby J seems to be doing much better. What a night! Why do these things happen at night anyway? Even with only 3 ½ hours of sleep, my meanie mom side has not appeared. Joaquin was unable to stay home from work, and I didn’t think I would make it, but miraculously I have. Wow. Just about 40 minutes and hopefully she’ll go back to sleep when Little M does. Then I can get a nap in.

So since I’m on the subject of Baby J, I’ll share a few cute things she’s said lately. Yesterday on the way home from church, to get our attention, she kept saying, “Shoosh me, peepo!” (Excuse me, people!) Last night she said, “Peeyo do-tee?” (Pillow dirty?) That was after she puked on it. And this is my favorite today, “Baby hold Elmo two minutes?”

And since I’m on the subject of cute things my children have said, I’ll share something Little M said this morning. I was telling her that I was surprised that she didn’t wake up while Baby J was crying so much last night. She said, “God must’ve covered my ears up!” Yep. I think He did. Two kids awake in the middle of the night may have been more than this mamma could’ve handled.

This Good Day

2008-11-02T22:48:00.010-06:00

It’s been a good day. And thankfully so, because it’s been my first in a few. I’ve had good moments in the sludge, but I’ve mostly been fighting going off my rocker. Gotta love those hormones! But I learned something valuable this week, and since I can’t keep things I’ve learned to myself, I have to share. :)

Sometimes the way you feel isn’t your fault. I do know I am fully responsible for what I do with those feelings when I am disappointed, angry, or just simply down in the dumps, but sometimes I can’t help how I’m feeling.

I get upset with myself when I let little things bother me. I get upset with myself when I have not reflected God to my children, and when I have not been a supportive wife. I get upset with myself when I feel down even when nothing is actually wrong. I get upset, because I do have it all in Christ, and I have full access to the joy He gives, so it's my doing when I don't tap into that. But thankfully, to Him, having it all does not mean having it all together.

An article I received in an e-mail was such a great reminder to me of how God is most powerful through us in our weakness. He doesn’t want us to be weak so He can be strong. That would just be a big power trip. As humans, no matter what we do to be strong, or to seem strong, we are weak. So thankfully He offers His strength to us. (Read the article here.)

I took Pastor Barry’s sermon advice and just let myself relax today. Even though God did not need a Sabbath day, He even took a day off to be an example to us because He knew that rest was so important (well, duh, He knows everything!).

One foot in front of the other, day by day, trusting Him, accepting that there are many things I can’t fix in my life or other’s lives…my mind begins to rest.

Don't Hate Me

2008-10-28T22:46:00.005-05:00

This post is dedicated to my sister, Jennifer. This commercial is forever embedded into our memories. We used to say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, I used to be as ugly as you are." (with our fake British accents) This commercial really never made me want to buy Pantene.

Waning Guilt

2008-10-23T23:09:00.000-05:00

The depth of my “mom guilt” changes over time. And then it changes again. Just as I am coming to realize that if, in special circumstances, the baby doesn’t have to take her nap at the exact same time everyday, it’s okay. And just as I’m learning that if my children don’t eat healthy food for – gasp! – two whole days, we’ll make up for it in the coming week, I’m also learning it’s the same with my shortcomings as a mother. It will all even out somehow.

I’m a decent mom. I spend quality time with my children every day. I also spend quantity time with them. We laugh a lot. Even though it’s against my grain, I let their creativity make a mess sometimes. Do I give them “looks” I wish I hadn’t? Do I overly reprimand, rather than just simply stating that “my answer is no, and I’m not going to change my answer”? Do I ask “why did you do that?” when even a very articulate 4-year-old couldn’t possibly really know why, causing great frustration on her part because it’s an impossible question for her to answer? Yes, I do.

But this is what I hope, and this is what I pray: That the smiles will outnumber the frowns, the laughs will outnumber the tears, the highs will be far more than the lows, and that my tone of voice will be more sweet than disapproving. I know the little things we do, good or bad, add up fast, and so I’m mindful of that, but I think I’m learning to take a look at the bigger picture more often.

I have felt much less guilty this week. I hope this is a swing in the right direction.

Fair Scare

2008-10-22T19:27:00.003-05:00

This isn’t breaking news, but a few weekends ago, my in-laws came up and we all went to the fair and rodeo. Our girls loved it! Well, Baby J hasn’t quite formed an opinion, but Little M loves it. They also love their Nani and Papa. And you know what? I do too. I don’t know why, but God blessed me with amazing in-laws. I love my sisters-in-law too. But this isn’t about them. It’s about the way God is always watching over us. Even when we don’t know it. Even when we don’t believe He is. Even if we don’t even believe He exists.

It was Friday night at the fair. We’d just paid a crazy 5 buckaroos for a giant corn dog, and as I was trying to figure out how to hold it and eat it, I glanced behind Melissa, a.k.a. Nani, to spot Little M.

She wasn’t there.

I looked a couple of feet away.

She wasn’t there.

I looked around frantically asking Melissa, “Where is she? Where is she?” Melissa stayed calm (or so I thought). She scanned our surroundings and saw that Little M was up ahead with her daddy, who was just about to enter a building at the fairgrounds. I immediately started crying, actually a quiet sob, because of the fear I had just felt, and because of the relief I felt after seeing her. After I had slightly composed myself, I realized that Melissa was crying too.

Imagine us walking in to greet my husband with our tears! I’m sure he couldn’t imagine what was wrong with us! We’d just had a slight miscommunication, so I wasn’t angry with him for taking her off without me knowing. And besides, I was so relieved that I couldn’t be angry.

This experience really gave me a first-hand feeling of what my own mother must have felt when I wandered away from her at Central Park Mall (“back then” it was a thriving mall) in San Antonio, at the height of the Christmas-shopping season. I was lost for some time. I remember wandering around the mall wondering where my mom was. Oddly, I don't remember ever feeling scared.

In our Bible study this week (we’re studying Believing God by Beth Moore), we are learning about how God has always been there. Our home study encourages us to remember ways that God was with us in the past. Beth Moore is forthcoming about the fact that she was a victim of sexual abuse as a child. But somehow, she can still find ways that God was with her through it all.

I am comforted by the fact that God has always been there. I spent many-a-year, some in high school, but mostly in college, not living my life as if I was someone who knew Christ personally, even though I did. But God was there anyway. And I thank Him for it. I know he protected me in many ways I’ll never know this side of heaven. I know it’s the same for you too. I encourage you to recall times in the past that God has held you, protected you, or provided for you. I hope you can think of at least one. Even if it was in the midst of turmoil or trauma, I hope you can think of at least one. When we remember these things, I hope it helps us remember that He is still here and that He is concerned with the things that concern us.

Mom Guilt

2008-10-15T22:31:00.000-05:00

At my MOPS meeting yesterday, the owner of Secret Chef was our guest speaker. Secret Chef is a place here in town whose specialty is making “home cooked” meals you can pass off as your own. The speaker talked about ways to get our children to eat healthy food (if they’re hungry enough they’ll eat!), as well as some cooking tips (balsamic vinegar can make asparagus taste great). When he was finished, he left behind a small pan of chicken enchiladas to be entered into our door prize drawing. I jokingly said, “Dear Jesus…” and another mom at my table and I laughed. Well, guess who won the enchiladas? Not I! It was the other mom I'd had a good laugh with who did!

But I did win something. I won a book called Motherhood: The Guilt that Keeps on Giving by Julie Barnhill. Apparently my answer to prayer was: Read more about improving your mothering skills rather than trying to get out of cooking supper! Well, I’m only halfway through the first chapter, and it’s already inspired a blog post. I’ll have to fill you in on things I learn as I read more.

If you’re a mom, whether it’s been for a long time or only months, you probably know this all- pervasive "mother guilt". As time goes on, and we have more and more children, the guilt seems to increase. At least it has with me.

The book I mentioned begins by asking us moms what we don’t feel guilty about when it comes to being a mom.

Here’s my list.

I do not feel guilty for:

Choosing to be a stay-at-home mom even though it means not having many extras. Even if it means having no extras.
Feeding my children a couple of "orange essence" prunes (oh pardon me, dried plums) when I don't feel like cooking a vegetable or cutting up fruit.
Sending my children to their rooms for at least 30 minutes a day where they play alone, without talking to me (well, we're working on that part), so I can be alone and quiet.

That was no easy list.

What about you? Can you name three things you don't feel guilty about as a mom?

Tagged

2008-10-13T21:29:00.006-05:00

I was tagged by Dona at Confessions of a Crazy Lady!

The instructions were:

Go to pictures file
Click on the 6th folder of pics
Post the 6th picture in that folder
Share the details

The girls were having fun rolling around on each other right before I took this picture.

The next week, as Little M introduced herself to almost every passerby in HEB, she told them about it: "Hi, I'm M. I'm 4. This is my sister J. She's one. We like to roll around on each other."

I was painfully shy as a small child. My husband is still very much an introvert. Can you imagine how dumfounded we are to have such outgoing children?

I tag the first and last on my blog list: Allison and Rachel!

Pure Joy

2008-10-09T22:03:00.002-05:00

I am a firm believer that people usually don't get what they deserve. Especially when it comes to God.

As I type, my two children are playing completely independently of me. This a RARE occurrence. Well, they play independently everyday during "room time," but I make 'em do it, they don't do it on their own. So here I am starting to write a post at 8:10 p.m. I probably won't be able to post until later tonight, but this is still just short of a miracle.

All of a sudden, after dinner, Little M scampered off, with Baby J pitter-patting behind. Next thing you know, Little M is brushing her teeth, and is helping Baby J do hers. Little M got her pajamas on, then put Baby J's on for her. Now they are playing together like best friends. Ahhh. It's the little things in life.

The reason I find it so easy to speak positively about my children is that I take little credit for it. Because of God's mercy and His patience with me, I have become a better mother over the past year.

And oh how I needed to become a better mother.

And so tonight, I thank God that He continually redeems us. I screw up EVERY day with my girls. I regret things I do EVERY day. So how does God not look down and point His big finger, and say, "You better shape up! You better get it right tomorrow!"? Because He loves me. But He doesn't love me because I'm Amy Davis. He doesn't love me because I deserve it. He loves me because He made me, and I am his daughter.

He feels the same about you. Did you know?

My Best Friend

2008-10-07T23:11:00.009-05:00

I was so fortunate to have my best friend Charla, and her baby boy, Connor, come to visit us last week, and yesterday. After living up north while her husband finished med school, she and Dr. Fields are finally back in Texas. On the map, I am strategically placed between her and her extended family (they live near Dallas) and she is strategically placed between me and my extended family. It couldn't get much easier! So she came and stayed a day and night on the way to see her family, and then another night on the way back home.

This best friend of mine is really special to me. She's no ordinary friend – we like to say we've been friends since we were babies.

Her dad used to pastor a church in our old hometown. When the church was just getting off the ground, the members met at a downtown hotel. I guess it was after a service, or during the beginning of a lunch meeting that followed on that particular day, when my mom noticed Charla's mom holding a baby and trying to wrangle her toddler brother. My mom offered to take Chad home, knowing they lived just down the street. Our moms became friends, and so did we.

I don't remember when we first officially declared ourselves "best friends" but it may have been as early as kindergarten. I do remember the first Christmas gift she ever gave me. And of course, I remember when she moved away.

I was fourteen. It was hard enough being fourteen, and then my FFF (Funky Friend Forever :)) moved to Kaufman, Texas. It was truly one of the hardest things that I've ever experienced. But not to fear, our amazing mothers always arranged for us to see each other. Every summer my mom would get me up there, and then at other times in the year, she was able to come see me when her family came to visit their old stompin' grounds.

If I were to name the many memories we have, this post would literally turn into a book. Hey, that's an idea.

Here's a little pictorial history:

Ya gotta love that 70s carpet...

...and the 90s hair!

Charla's husband, Aaron, is serving in Iraq right now. He's only been gone several weeks, and will not return until January, just before Connor's first birthday. Please keep them both in your prayers!

HELP!

2008-10-05T14:29:00.000-05:00

I am excited to have my new header! A fellow blogger and friend of mine, Angela, graciously offered to do this for me! Thank you, Angela.

But now I have a problem. I can't figure out how to get it on my blog correctly. Anyone out there technical enough to help me get it right? Right now, I seem to have two choices. The size you see above, and GIANT.

I appreciate any advice you can give!

Captivating

2008-10-02T23:25:00.001-05:00

I love, love, love what G.K. Chesterton says about women and mothers in his book, What’s Wrong with the World. Stasi Eldredge includes an excerpt from it in her book called You are Captivating. It’s a booklet type book that costs about $3. If you are a mom, you must get it and read it! It encouraged me in so many ways.

Here it is:

To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors, and holidays; to be Whitely within a certain area, providing toys boots, cakes and books; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s one children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything someone? No, a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.

The nurturance of life is a high holy calling, and as a mother, it is yours. Oh, may God open your eyes to see the reality of your weighty life. ~Stasi Eldredge

Finally

2008-09-29T22:27:00.001-05:00

Okay – I’m going to hold my breath and make this blog available to anyone in the world. It makes me extremely nervous for a couple of reasons.

First, I am a perfectionist in some ways. Please remember that being a perfectionist does not mean that I do things perfectly, but that I have an overwhelming desire to do things perfectly. It can be paralyzing. This is especially true when it comes to my writing. A typo is the kiss of death to me. A sentence that sounds like a third-grader wrote it is mortifying.

Another cause for my anxiousness is how strange it feels that complete strangers can read my thoughts and feelings. Kinda freaky, don’t ya think? And while we’re at it, how strange it feels that people I do know have a place to read my thoughts and feelings. When you think about it, blogging really is an odd concept. (Can you tell I tend to over think things at times?) But what would I do instead of getting valuable sleep at night if it weren’t for these blogs? :)

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Please, please, please know that I only impose this perfectionism on myself. I won't do it to you! :)

Ike

2008-09-13T21:56:00.003-05:00

I love America because when a hurricane hits, people help people. I love America because gas station price gougers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I love America because when we anticipate a potentially life-changing storm, our politicians declare that they will refrain from politicking at least for a day. But I still think that when three people decide to sit on a pier on Galveston Island to await a storm that they have been warned could mean their “certain death” – I think they should be jailed. I am not kidding. I am actually being kind. I actually think they should be fined, but how do you determine how much? How do you determine how many other lives they put at risk by calling on rescue workers who should be available elsewhere at a time like this? And besides, these adventure seekers have most likely just lost their homes or many of their earthly possessions at the least. Where would they get the money to pay a fine? Jail time. I think it’s the answer. How so very inconsiderate of people to choose to put themselves in a dangerous situation, only to call for help when the storm actually hits.

I heard the story on the news this morning while two small children ran unsupervised about my house, tired of their mother and father watching the hurricane coverage all morning, so my details may be sketchy, but this really did happen. The three I speak of parked themselves (not in a car, just their bodies) on a pier anticipating that it would drop in the same spectacular, exciting way it did a few years ago when they parked themselves on a pier in anticipation of Hurricane Rita. Well, what do you know, things don’t always happen the exact same way when it comes to hurricanes! So by eleven o’clock last night, they were already calling for help. Rescue teams couldn’t get to them right away, but said they’d be there as soon as possible. They made it to the daredevils about mid-morning today. I don’t know how the fellows survived. (I’m only assuming they are fellows.) I am glad they survived, but I still think they should be jailed for at least 24 hours.

That’s something I don’t like about America. Or rather, Americans. Taking our freedom of choice for granted is so wrong. Putting others lives at risk because of our own stupidity is so wrong. But they do it because they can.

My Cup Overflows

2008-09-06T00:39:00.009-05:00

The two little ones have just begun to play together. This has given me a few extra 5 minute increments throughout my day. I'll take anything I can get! They get along fairly well, when they want to. They've just started playing in Little M's closet now that we put a new light bulb in there. It's like a miniature playroom (and I do mean miniature). Little M has even hung some of her personal art on the closet walls.

Dress-up clothes and an empty plastic bin provide great entertainment for these two. And somehow even Baby J can get in on her own. Little M rarely takes a picture without her tongue stuck out, or a silly face. Baby J followed suit on this one.

Word Power
The other day, Little M was eating a snack while we were in HEB and Baby J wanted some. She said, "I just don't have any to spare."

Baby J says things like, "Mamma water peas" (Mamma, water please) and "No, baby do it." She even told me the other day when Joaquin was holding her, "No, Mamma, dada hole (hold) me."

They keep me smiling and laughing!!!

Selfish Independence

2008-09-05T23:33:00.003-05:00

Last night, I was doing some e-mailing while listening to Senator John McCain at the Republican National Convention, when two words he said struck me – selfish independence.

I have been, and still am in many ways, selfishly independent. Independence seems like such a valuable character trait in certain ways, and of course, in balance, it’s a very good thing. But the kind of independence I’m speaking of is a negative quality. It's the kind of independence that causes you to stay detached from people and schedules so you can accomplish what you need to in your own time. The kind that lets you get attached to people, (and you really do get attached), but many times, it’s a take it or leave it relationship. You become self-sufficient. It works well because in the best case, you decide what happens in your life, and in worst case, you didn’t need anyone anyway, so no big deal when “stuff” comes along. It’s a self-preservation of sorts.

Before Baby J was born, ladies in my Bible study were talking about bringing me food after she arrived. I was very uncomfortable with this idea. Even though I knew I would need it, I just felt so uncomfortable thinking that others would even care to bring me support in the form of a casserole. I could have handled it on my own! After being “so humble” as to tell them how hard it was for me to accept their kindness, a couple of girls in my small group told me that I was being prideful. It didn’t hurt my feelings, but it did make me think. After mulling this idea over for a few days, I started to get it. I was being prideful. It’s kind of a self-deprecating pride (why would anyone want to do this for me, little ol’ me?). But in a strange way, it is pride because my more acceptable attitude of “why would you even want to do this for me?” was a cover-up for “I can handle this on my own." (Though I didn’t realize it at the time.)

So many positive things can be lost living independently, and so much can be gained when you admit you need others, and especially when you admit your need for God and a Savior.

I’ve included the portion of Senator McCain’s speech that really jumped out at me below. I’m so grateful that I am also learning the limits of selfish independence.

On an October morning, in the Gulf of Tonkin, I prepared for my 23rd mission over North Vietnam. I hadn't any worry I wouldn't come back safe and sound. I thought I was tougher than anyone. I was pretty independent then, too. I liked to bend a few rules, and pick a few fights for the fun of it. But I did it for my own pleasure; my own pride. I didn't think there was a cause more important than me.

Then I found myself falling toward the middle of a small lake in the city of Hanoi, with two broken arms, a broken leg, and an angry crowd waiting to greet me. I was dumped in a dark cell, and left to die. I didn't feel so tough anymore. When they discovered my father was an admiral, they took me to a hospital. They couldn't set my bones properly, so they just slapped a cast on me. When I didn't get better, and was down to about a hundred pounds, they put me in a cell with two other Americans. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even feed myself. They did it for me. I was beginning to learn the limits of my selfish independence. Those men saved my life.

No man can always stand alone. – Bob Craner, POW, serving with John McCain

TMI?

2008-08-31T21:16:00.007-05:00

This is the time of year where everybody is sending their children off to school. I've enjoyed reading many posts on this subject. Some on the blogs of people I don't even know! (Another sign of blog addiction.) I have two preschoolers, so I am not experiencing this kind of sadness or gladness at the moment. But I am starting to freak out.

I'm starting to freak out about how many children's names, ages, schools, teachers, room numbers and other identifying information is being spread through Bloggyville. It doesn't concern me at all when people spread their own names or general information about themselves. It concerns me when a child's information is so available. Beginning to think I'm paranoid? I'm really not, I've just heard too much first-hand information on se xual crimes. Has it made me overly sensitive about protecting children in this way? You bet.

Two of my former jobs were at crisis centers. This means I've fielded emergency hotline calls, met personally with survivors of these crimes, and heard one too many stories about what people are capable of.

It doesn't matter what I think though. I just had to put this out there.

Here is a website I found helpful:
http://look-both-ways.com/stayingsafe/blogging.htm#more

On this day in 1918

2008-08-08T23:26:00.003-05:00

My grandmother turned 90 today. In addition to visiting her many, many times every year, my Nanny and I have been writing letters to each other since, well, since I learned to write. I always loved keeping in touch this way. I still have a lot of the letters she’s written me. In her letters, she would always tell me about my cousins and what she’d heard lately about their lives, and she would include a little story about a squirrel she’d seen out her window, or one about the neighbor’s cat. What an exciting read for a little girl! And no matter what my age at the time, she’d always remind me to obey my mother and play nicely with my sister. She most importantly reminded me to read my Bible everyday. Nanny is a tells-it-as-she-sees-it kinda gal. She can come across too strongly because of this, but over the years I’ve tried to see through this, and know that any opinions she has freely shared (like: “You need to put a little curl in your hair.” Or, “What size are you wearing now?”) were truly out of a heart of love.

My sweet grandmother has dementia. She remembers things half the time, and the other half she doesn’t recognize her own family. My mom has been her primary caregiver for months now. (God bless her!) She talks about moving in with my mom, or having a caretaker come stay in her home with her. She also talks about dying. She says she’s just not ready to go because she hasn’t told enough people about Jesus. What I think she doesn’t realize is what a legacy she will leave behind. Who knows? Maybe I wouldn’t have come to know Jesus if it hadn’t been for her teaching my mother.

I talked to Nanny this afternoon. When she first got on the phone, she said, “Who is this?” I said, “This is Amy.” She said, “Oh, I know. I know your voice!” About two minutes more into the conversation, she said, “Now who is this?” I said, “This is Amy.” She said, “I just can’t think of who you are. I can’t picture your face.” It is sad to witness what her mind is doing to her. I can’t even imagine how she feels. I’m grateful that God gave me a good family. I pray that even after all these years, she’ll know how much God loves her and I pray she knows how important her life has been in this world.

Though she'll never read this:

Happy Birthday, Nanny. I’m so glad you were born.

Just Listen

2008-08-07T23:56:00.005-05:00

If I, myself, get too distracted to remember, or am just too unmotivated to put away things as I go, how can I teach my girls the importance of being neat? It’s a frustrating thought. It’s days like this I thank the Lord that children don’t remember much before the age of 4. Now I do believe that something in them remembers life in general, even when they are tiny: "Was I loved? Did my parent’s care about what I was feeling? Was my home peaceful?" But, I don’t think they’ll remember that I couldn’t keep the house picked up or get the dishes done to save my life. At least that’s what I’m hoping for! Take for instance today – when Little M would move to a new activity, I would ask her to go back to what she had been doing and put away that project before starting another. I did pretty well. Then, while she and Baby J were eating lunch, I surveyed her room. (We had just straightened it up this morning.) I couldn’t believe how many unfinished activities were on the floor. Lacing cards, blocks, Barbies. (Guess I really didn’t do so well!) So I must give up. Not in a defeated way, but more like, I just have to accept this. Soon enough, my girl’s minds will be mature enough to hear an instruction and be able to follow through with it on their own, without my constant prodding. This is a learning process for both them and me. So I’ll be patient. God is teaching me so much through raising them. Having them in my life, the joy they bring, as well as the frustration, has drawn me to Him.

A book I’ve been slowly reading (only because of lack of time, not because of the content) is Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas. It was recommended to me by a few of my Bible study friends who participated in a study of this book. Last night I read how having children helps us listen to God – or at least it should. To quote the book:

We accept as commonplace a man’s voice carried by radio to the uttermost parts of the earth. Why not the voice of the living God as an active, creative force in every home, every business, every parliament?...

The Holy Spirit is the most intelligent source of information in the world today. He has the answer to every problem. Everywhere when men will let him, he is teaching them how to live…Divine guidance must become the normal experience of ordinary men and women. Any man can pick up divine messages if he will put his receiving set in order. Definite, accurate, adequate information can come from the Mind of God to the minds of men. This is normal prayer.

I love learning. Everyday I am eager to fill my mind with knowledge. Whether it’s from a book or the Internet, I enjoy it. But today (and actually everyday) I needed more than just information. I needed to fill my head with more of what God says about life. And I needed to listen. How in the world was I going to hear Him between the noise of children and the thoughts racing in my head? I only did what I knew how to do – read the Bible. Nothing profound happened, but that was okay. Minute by minute, I began to feel a little bit more peaceful. I needed some extra peace today. If I’ll just remember not to rely on yesterday’s dose of what God has to say, but to ask each day that He’ll open my ears, my heart - to listen, I know I’ll be doing all right.

Note to self...

2008-08-04T22:35:00.013-05:00

...clean out all the pockets in husband's pants and shirts before washing.

I believe God cares about everything in our lives. Even our laundry. Sounds silly, but tonight He really blessed me. Many times, I just chunk my husband's clothes in the washer without checking any pockets, assuming he's cleaned them out and if he hasn't, what's a little paper in the machine anyway, right? Well, this evening, I did check all of his pockets and removed several receipts. But I didn't check his shirt pockets! So when I went to move the stuff from the washer to dryer, I noticed a busted pen. (Now mind you this was a cheap pen because I have successfully washed gel pens and not had a problem.) I took a deep breath and started to assess the damage. Yep, ink on two shirts and a pair of jeans. But this is how God showed me He cares: I got the tiny ink spot out of the front of one of his good shirts, no problem. There was a quarter-sized spot on a pair of his jeans, but it was at the cuff on the back of his pants. I got a little of if out, but it's pretty much permanent. There was quite a bit on another shirt, but I got a lot of it out and it's kind of an around-the-house shirt anyway. Having saved my laundry from ruin is just one of the little ways God shows me He's concerned with even what seems little in my life, and that He's always watching. That pen really could have ruined all of those clothes, and it would have cost us more than we are willing to spend to replace them.

Some would chalk this up as coincidence. I just can't do it. I know Him too well.

Ramona Quimby, Age 32

2008-07-24T22:50:00.009-05:00

Typically, my thoughts on hair are: Go ahead and cut it, it will always grow back! That was then, this is now.

I actually haven’t taken the time to try to style it, so maybe there’s hope, but for now I look like Ramona Quimby, Age 8. I haven’t even read this book, but strangely, her hairstyle has stayed with me since elementary school.

As I got ready for the last night of our church’s GENIUS idea of 8 Great Dates (a time for couples to enjoy free child care while out on a date for a little over an hour), I realized that I had no idea how to fix my hair properly. Now like I said, I’m usually pretty laid back about my hair. I even wore it in a ponytail for approximately two months before I got it cut, but come on! You gotta care a little! So I ended up putting part of it up in a clip. Ugh. I got in the car and quietly mouthed to my husband, “I hate my hair.”

As we drove away, Little M, 4 years old, said, “I can see my house.” My husband adjusted the mirror and we heard her piping up from the backseat again, “I can’t see my house. Will you move the mirror back, please? You’re making me upset.” I blinked, then told her, “There are so many things to get upset about in this world, don’t let a mirror be one of them.” This logic was most likely lost on her, but immediately I realized that hair is not one of those things either. I didn’t like how my hair looked, but who cares? My husband was fine with it, we were driving in our nice car with our healthy children to a free-childcare date! I put myself in my place, and I thank God for using my children (this time through my advice to one) once again to help keep things in perspective.

And so it begins...

2008-07-14T23:28:00.000-05:00

I have been reading blogs for about three months or so now and I was addicted from day one. I have contemplated starting my own for a while, but I just couldn't get my thoughts straight about it. Would I just blog for myself – allowing a creative outlet? Would I blog so others can read about my daily life? Would I even post much about my daily life, or would I just take readers along with me in my spiritual walk? I still don’t know. I don’t know where this blogging thing will take me, but I’m here now and we’ll see what happens. I’m going to keep it private for a while. It takes almost everything in me to share my inner thoughts to friends and strangers, but I still feel compelled to do it.

Today more importantly marks the 4th anniversary of my baby’s birth (yes, more commonly known as a birthday :)). My firstborn is four. While I typically just do a run-of-the-mill read a story, sing and pray bedtime ritual, tonight was different. She and I looked through her baby book, especially enjoying the pictures of birthdays past, and then I sang, prayed and fell asleep alongside her. I just didn’t want her 4th birthday to end. In less than an hour, it will. But I have taken time today to review in my mind the things I want to improve on concerning her. I want to be more aware of the subtle ways she tells me about what is important to her. I want to make sure she gets alone time with her mamma. I want to continue turning her heart toward Jesus. I do know that the days are long, but the years are short, and so I look forward to not only spending tomorrow with her, but I look forward to seeing her take the path that God has laid before her.